Real Choice Part 2

Copyright © 2010 Lif C. Strand
www.spiritualhorsemanship.com

At this stage of working with the filly, I’m mostly introducing the different kinds of touch she might expect from me, by rubbing her or scratching her with my hands, brushing her, sliding a rope over her body. I don’t believe in “imprinting” – horses are not ducklings or chicks, so they don’t have the physiological ability to actually imprint – and besides, I don’t feel my mares appreciate my messing with their newborns. Additionally, imprinting removes any possibility of choice with a newborn foal. Offering real choice is what Spritirual Horsemanship is about. This means that I wait till the new mother is ready to share her baby with me. SE Redhill Sonetta’s mother, Suletta HCC, has always taken a few days till she’s not protecting her baby when I approach, and even though she’s had quite a few foals by now (she’s 27!) she’s still a protective mother with her newborns.

With Sonetta, Su was okay with me focusing on her filly after about five days. Of course I was in and out of the pen with them both during that time, but I didn’t attempt to approach the filly other than absolutely necessary during that time. I watched carefully to make sure Su was relaxed with me working with her foal before ever beginning to work with the filly.

Of course, five days is a long time in the life of a newborn horse, so when Su finally was okay with me messing with her baby, the baby was not okay with my messing with her. This wasn’t a problem for me as I have found that taking it very, very slowly in the beginning makes it end up faster in the end (less mistakes made along the way!), so I don’t worry about having a halter broke baby in a day.

I have set up my life with my horses so that I can work with them on their time, not mine. When I was more “in the business” than I am now, things were different – I was more impatient, less likely to give horses real choices. While it never caused serious, permanent damage to them – after all, horses have been subject to human force and whim for millennia and survived it – the feedback these days is that as nice as the horses were before, the horses that leave my property now are much calmer and easier to teach.

The big reward is how eager Sonetta is to learn. I’ve reached the point with where she so enjoys what we are doing that if I give her my hand signal to come to me, she comes at an enthusiastic run. She is open, she is ready, and she has never had her Reptile Mind engaged, so she holds nothing back.


Starting out with Sonetta

Because I’ve rearranged fencing panels recently, Su and Sonetta live in a crescent-shaped pen. It's big enough to allow the filly to get into a gallop (she’s funny when she does it, because she often whinnies while running – I’ve never had one of my horses do that). At its thickest in the middle, the pen is about 60 feet across. If the filly runs along the outer fence line, she can cover something like 150 feet before she has to change direction. The crescent shape means that a horse could get cornered if I wanted to do so, but I never approach the corners – I always stand in the middle and let the filly come to me.

On the first day with the filly, once Su decided it was ok to share her, my intent was to get the baby to notice me. I do this by a) not doing anything that creates fear and thereby engages her Reptile Mind, b) using the filly’s natural curiosity to get her to make the contact, and c) trusting in herd learning, which is that if all the other herd members say something is okay, then it’s okay for all (and I’m going to become a senior member of this filly’s herd).

I avoid creating fear by resisting the normal human tendency to walk or even reach towards what I want. My goal is to get the filly to want me. My actions are gentle yet clear and simple: I just walk into the middle of the pen – not looking at the filly – not fast, not slow, but with a very relaxed body and soft eyes. I then just stand there, thinking nothing, listening to the sounds of the horses nearby, the birds in the trees, the chickens clucking and chatting with each other; I feel the breeze on my cheek and the sun warming my body. I’m being and breathing and no more – my mind is blank. It’s my favorite sort of meditation: Putting out nothing, mind passively receiving and absorbing the world around me.

I allow myself to include the filly in my unfocused gaze, but never look at her directly. After a while, she looks in my direction. The moment she does so, I casually move my center of gravity back just a little – just a small movement, maybe not even noticeable to a human who wasn’t looking for it. This is an invitation for the filly to approach. It is a statement that I am not a danger. Slight as it is, the filly registers that movement. She takes a hesitant step towards me.

I’m still breathing deeply and effortlessly; I’m still relaxed; I’m still enjoying the sounds around me, the smells of fresh air, juniper, horse. I’m not attempting to hold my body still, but neither am I doing more than standing relaxed in a moment of time with no expectation, no desire. I am simply being an invitation. What happens here today, no matter what it is, is the perfect, most wonderful and joyful thing that could happen. Whatever the filly does is wonderful. I am willing to accept whatever she is willing to give to me - or withhold

Without focusing my eyes on any part of the filly above her knees, I use my peripheral vision to watch her body and head very closely. If she even as much as shifts her center of gravity away from me or looks away from me, I sway back away from her. If she moves a foot in preparation to turn away, I turn away first, unhurriedly, casually, and I leave the pen. That’s it for today.

It’s a subtle dance, but very, very powerful.


Pressure is force, and force is no choice at all

In the olden days, horses were given no choices – they did what humans wanted and that was it. Pain was the usual method to get horses to respond as humans required. Even today, although natural horsemanship talks about making requests of horses, most of the time by ‘request’ we actually mean that if a horse doesn’t do what we say we will find a way to make the horse do it anyway, generally through increasing the pressure. Haven’t you heard the phrase “make the right choice easy, the wrong choice hard”? There can be no true choice offered when the options do not include “no”.

A horse doesn’t refuse to do something because he is being willful or contrary; he refuses because he is afraid or just doesn’t know any better. He really wants to do what you want him to; as a herd animal, he’s hardwired to do so. However, when a horse is afraid, he is subject to that Reptile Mind and he can’t think. When his Reptile Mind engages, his conscious mind is inoperative and he can’t remember things like training, or even that he knows and likes you. All he can do is follow the imperatives of “fight or flight” – and too often we humans cut off the flight option, leaving fight as the only ugly possible response.


Flight or fight.

Believe me, it’s not that your horse wants to fight you; it’s that you’re not giving your horse any choice. We all do it – we are predators by nature and can’t help it. We stalk, we have hard eyes, we have tense bodies – we just naturally look like we want to eat our horses, not work with them as partners. And if we have the least bit of fear or anger in us, then that message is only magnified.

Horses (all animals) are masters at body language. We humans aren’t so hot at it, although we can be good at it if we work on it. Meanwhile, even if we do, even if we become less predator and more with the herd/partner concept, even if we stroll instead of stalk, use soft eyes instead of hard, have relaxed bodies instead of tense, we still have a big failing in that we are still unconsciously end up trapping our horses. We push them into their Reptile Minds and we lose them. Oh, we end up teaching, but we are doing it through fear and force – and we may not be teaching what we had in mind.

Being trapped is not a good feeling for a horse. No matter how good a trainer you are, or how good a partner you are with your horse, if your horse feels trapped the pressure will tip him over into fear and thus Reptile Mind. You just never are going to be able to overcome millions of years of equine evolution. Horses do not run to when they’re afraid, they run from. They are not like puppies that can be held in your arms and comforted, because to a horse confinement and restriction feels too much like the prelude to the claws and fangs of a predator.

The big mistake most of us make when we are working with our horses is that we push our horses over the limits of what they can tolerate (that limit is very low when confronted with something new or fearful) without providing sufficient space for them to get away. Pushing and pressure, forward motion and entrapment are all moves a predator makes; they are aggressive movements. These are all natural movements for a human and they can easily evoke fear in a horse. When a horse feels fear, the Reptile Mind engages, the thinking mind disengages, and Reptile Mind only offers a horse the choices of flight and fight. However, if the pressure can be reduced by flight - once a horse feels it has moved to a point where he is safe - his Reptile Mind can disengage and his conscious mind reengages: Your horse can think again.


Going away and coming to: The horse’s choice

The Spiritual Horsemanship approach to working horses is twofold:

First: big space, no restraint. Allow horses enough space to get far enough away so if they feel pressured, they have the room to move off until they are comfortable (that is, far enough that they can move till they want to stop moving on their own, rather than being forced to stop by restraint of a rope or a fence). With horses that are not particularly fearful and a human who is sensitive, that space can be inches (just swaying the body away like I did with Sonetta). With more fearful horses, with less sensitive humans, it might take acres of space. If you use no restraint – no halter, no lead rope - a horse has less reason to feel trapped.

Secondly, allow horses to choose to engage with you; to freely accept what you’re offering - and trust that they will accept if given true choice. A horse’s curiosity is a wonderful thing, yet so often we fail to use that curiosity as a proactive tool. I always allow my horses – even the adults I’ve had all their lives – to smell me over thoroughly before we do anything new, and every so often let them do so just so they are reminded who I am. I give them the opportunity to learn about new equipment by leaving it for them to sniff, touch, nibble and lick on their own time, at their own pace, with no pressure. I’d rather have a tooth mark on leather than a fearful horse.

The whole point is to not create pressure on a horse, but if it occurs anyway, to immediately reduce the pressure before it can build to fear. Giving a horse the true freedom of choice – to say no by leaving, to participate voluntarily - is how true partnership with a horse is born. This is Spiritual Horsemanship.